Diary Entry: Friday 11th July 2025
Something is not right here at Aussie Burgers.
I can feel it in the air, like humidity before a stormโthick, wordless, and waiting. No one will look me in the eye. Iโm sitting down, in full view, but Iโve become furnitureโsomething to walk around, not towards.
Only Pretty Nguyen comes over to talk. Her manner is calm but careful, as if sheโs stepping over emotional eggshells I didnโt know Iโd laid. Everyone else avoids me like Iโm a question they donโt want to answer.
Even ฤร Lแบกt Leeโwho normally beams, even on tough daysโonly stayed long enough to offer a polite smile before walking away. A face-saving exit. Graceful. Practised. Ominous.
And thatโs the word that sticks. Ominous.
I donโt know whatโs been said. I donโt know whatโs changed. But the warmth has gone cold. The air here feels like silence with sharp edges.
Something is wrong. And I canโt fix what I donโt understand.
Update โ My conversation with a mutual friend about H
After the frost at Aussie Burgers, I reached out to a good friend with two tangled threads of thought. One was about H. The otherโฆ about being lonely enough to start googling euphemisms.
I wrote:
Gโday chap. Would really appreciate your advice, if you would. Two things:
1. H. Weโve been seeing each other for a while, and she knows how I feel. But she wonโt tell me what sheโs thinking or feeling. Iโve tried to see this courtship (?) through non-Western eyes, but all I can see are wildly mixed signals. Your thoughts?
2. I really value the respectful, gentlemanly relationship I have with H, but I miss the physical connection (holding hands, cuddling, etc.) of romantic relationships. Iโm looking at setting up a regular appointment with a Vietnamese woman for conversation, and I donโt want to go where a thousand men have gone before. Thoughts?
Ever the blunt oracle, he replied:
Iโd certainly take a side trip. I donโt offer much hope on H.
I tried to explain (aka ‘justify myself and my emotions’). How H would sometimes message out of the blue to check if Iโd eaten. Or ask if I’d be interested in catching up for an impromptu coffee. About how she would give me little gifts that reflected that she had quietly listened to me during our many conversations, even the throwaway stuff, and missed nothing. How she once, during an almost-romantic dinner, rode off in a rainstorm to get me cash when I was temporarily skint after a rush of bills. And how, just hours after these tender moments, sheโd be back on VietnamCupidโprofile blinking away like a lighthouse for new arrivals.
Mixed signals? Maybe not. Maybe I was just tuning in to the wrong frequency. Maybe she was always being clearโI just didnโt want to believe it.
Our mutual friend confirmed that the whole rollercoaster with her must hurt me a lot. For my mental health, he commented, I had to acknowledge that Vietnamese women are exceedingly caring, but she would have become even the slightest bit physical by now (such as ‘accidentally’ touching my arm) if she was romantically interested in me. She was likely keeping in touch and going for coffee dates to be friendly and ‘doesnโt want to hurt your feelings’, he said.
Vietnamese are very thoughtful people. I canโt speak to the VietnamCupid part, but she is a genuinely nice person. Ouch, but yes, Iโd start looking.
Bugger.
Update โ Good old RSD again, huh?
Just when Iโd fully convinced myself Iโd been quietly cancelled by the Aussie Burgers team and H, ฤร Lแบกt Lee reappeared.
She looked stressedโtight-faced, preoccupiedโand for a good half-hour she stood and unloaded. All business stuff. Customer dramas. Financial pressure. Not a word of it was about me.
And there it was: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria throwing a private theatre production in my head once again. I had leapt to conclusions, cast myself as the villain in an invisible drama, and assumed her silence was punishment.
But it wasnโt.
To my great relief, the warmth returned. We shared belly laughs. We called each other ‘family’ again. And with the shift in energy came something else unexpected: matchmaking.
She told me about a woman who had recently confided she was looking for a good man. Speaks English. โVery sexy,โ ฤร Lแบกt Lee grinned.
You must contact her. Yes.
Only one photo on Zalo, but sheโs undeniably attractiveโthough not the body type I would have once automatically labelled โsexyโ. Still, Iโm learning that attraction lives in the totality of someone, not just their silhouette.
After a little (read: much) nudging, I sent the Zalo friend request. Sheโll see it in the morning.
And Iโll see what happens next.