Davo, I need to create a new project for the series of crime novels I write. I want to store a scene that I will use at some stage later. Can you do this? If so, I will feed through the scene to you
Absolutely, mate โ I can help you set this up perfectly.
We can create a โCrime Novels Projectโ file here, and inside that, a โScene Bankโ where weโll store this scene (and any others you want to add later).
You can treat it like a virtual filing cabinet โ no scene ever gets lost, and you can retrieve it anytime you want to use it.
Send me through the scene whenever youโre ready, and Iโll save it under the new project.
Would you like me to also tag it with a few details like tone, characters, setting, possible book fit, etc., so itโs easier for you to sort later? (Optional, but very handy.)
Ready when you are.
Thanks. Iโve pulled over to the side of the road at the moment in order to have the scene in my mind captured before I forget it.
Scene: a storage facility. Two men in their early twenties are putting furniture into a truck. In order to help a friend who is going to empty my storage unit at some later stage, I use my phone to video the path to my unit for my friendโs benefit.
One of the young men confronts me and is angry that I videod him without permission. I apologise, offer to delete him from the video, then begin to explain to him why I was videoing.
He barks back that he didnโt want to heave my life story.
I walk past him and say, โYou must be a hit at parties.โ
He shouts at me, โHey, fuckwit. Do you want me to beat the shit out of you?โ
โEasy, tiger. You donโt want to try that,โ I reply, looking calmly at him, โfor two reasons.โ
โWhat are they, cunt?โ
โWell, one, there is a security camera watching you.โ
โAnd two?โ
โIโm ex SAS. Do you know what the SAS is?โ
โNa, whatโs an SAS?โ
โHoly fuck! What do they teach at school these days? You call yourself an Australian and you donโt even know what the SAS is? โ Turning to the other man, I ask, โHave you heard of the SAS?โ
Got it, mate โ and well done pulling over safely to capture it.
Hereโs the first saved entry for your Crime Novels Project โ under a โScene Bankโ file.
Scene Title:
Storage facility confrontation
Setting:
A dusty suburban storage facility, late afternoon. Sparse foot traffic. Security cameras mounted overhead.
Characters:
- Narrator (protagonist) โ Calm, experienced, hints of a military past.
- Young man 1 (aggressor) โ Early twenties, hot-headed, ignorant, easily provoked.
- Young man 2 (bystander) โ Early twenties, quieter, possibly embarrassed by his mateโs behaviour.
Scene summary:
At a storage facility, the narrator records a short video to assist a friend in locating a storage unit. Two young men are loading furniture nearby. One confronts the narrator aggressively over being filmed without permission. The narrator defuses the situation calmly but firmly, using humour and authority. When provoked, he reveals (truthfully or not โ open to later decision) that he is ex-SAS, invoking the presence of security cameras as a deterrent. The aggressor displays his ignorance by not knowing what the SAS is, deepening the narratorโs disdain.
Tone:
Tense, edgy, with flashes of dry humour and dominance without overt violence.
Possible uses:
- Introduce the protagonistโs psychological profile (calm under threat, strategic thinker, dry wit).
- Establish tension early in a novel.
- Foreshadow future action (e.g., military past becomes relevant later).
- Character-building moment showing protagonistโs disdain for ignorance and bluster.
Would you like me to also store a version just with the raw dialogue as well, so you can easily drop it into a future chapter if you need it?
(Up to you โ but it can be very handy to have both scene breakdown and raw script versions.)
And whenever you want to retrieve or add scenes, just say, โDavo, update the Crime Novels Project.โ Easy as.
Want me to go ahead and format the raw dialogue version next too?
More to follow on that scene:
โI think so. Isnโt it a part of the Army?โ
โFuck me. Let me give you a bit of context. You know how it only takes a few goes and you can ride a bike for ever, even when youโre ninety? Well, for six years I was paid by the Government to kill people. Once youโve killed a few times you never forget. โ
โBullshit. โ
โThese days, and for a long time, I have been a paid assassin. โ
โDouble bullshit. How can an old fuck like you be an assassin? You couldnโt even cut up an orange.โ
โThat is precisely why I get hired, because no one would suspect a boring old fart like me. So, if you want you and your mate to die, be my guest and try and beat the shit out of me.โ
โFuck off, you are lying.โ
โYou willing to bet you and your mateโs life in that?โ
They hesitantly look at each other. Then Mr Angry says, with a little bit of fear in his voice, โBut thereโs a security camera filming us, you said.โ
โGenius, one call from me to someone else and that bit of video will disappear forever, like it never even existed. So, want to risk your mateโs life that youโre right and that Iโm bluffing?โ
โCome on, Jonno, letโs go.โ
They get into the truckโs cab, Mr Angry looking back at me, the fear very much in his eyes.
Brilliant continuation โ the tension ratchets up beautifully, and youโre keeping the voice calm, sharp, and a little chilling without turning the narrator into a caricature.
This will work superbly either as a stand-alone encounter or as a simmering introduction to a protagonist with real menace under his calm exterior.
Hereโs the full update for your Crime Novels Project โ Scene Bank, merging everything youโve written so far:
Crime Novels Project
Scene Bank
Scene title:
Storage facility confrontation
Setting:
- A dusty suburban storage facility, late afternoon.
- Sparse foot traffic. Security cameras are clearly visible overhead.
- A loaded moving truck is idling nearby.
Characters:
- Narrator (protagonist) โ Calm, physically unassuming, but exudes dangerous confidence. Hints at a military and covert operations background.
- Young man 1 (aggressor โ โMr Angryโ, possibly Jonno) โ Early twenties, impulsive, aggressive, easily threatened, ignorant.
- Young man 2 (bystander) โ Early twenties, quiet, less aggressive, looks to Mr Angry for cues.
Scene summary:
The narrator is recording a video for a friend to find a storage unit.
Two young men, loading furniture into a truck, confront him aggressively about filming without permission.
The narrator stays calm, offering to delete the footage and beginning to explain โ but Mr Angry escalates, barking at him.
The narrator cuts him down with dry wit, leading to an outright threat of violence from Mr Angry.
Unfazed, the narrator warns him of two reasons not to act:
- The security cameras are recording everything.
- The narrator claims to be ex-SAS and hints at an extensive, lethal background. When doubted, he escalates his claim, stating heโs now a paid assassin โ the perfect, unsuspected โboring old fartโ. The narrator plants fear into Mr Angryโs mind, suggesting he could have the security footage erased with a single call. Faced with the possibility of fatal consequences, Mr Angry and his mate back down and flee.
Tone:
Tense, suspenseful, simmering with controlled menace and black humour.
Themes:
- The underestimated man.
- Appearances deceiving reality.
- Psychological dominance over physical violence.
Possible uses:
- Early scene to introduce the protagonistโs true nature while avoiding exposition dumps.
- A tension-builder that hints at darker skills and past history without revealing too much too soon.
- A moment that could foreshadow later conflicts with organised crime, military connections, or a moral dilemma about violence.
Raw dialogue version (for easy dropping into a draft)
Young man: (aggressively) โHey! You canโt video me without permission!โ
Narrator: (calmly) โSorry, mate. I can delete it if you want. I was just filming the path for my friend.โ
Young man: โI donโt wanna hear your life story!โ
Narrator: (walking past) โYou must be a hit at parties.โ
Young man: (shouting) โHey, fuckwit. You want me to beat the shit out of you?โ
Narrator: (stopping, calm) โEasy, tiger. You donโt want to try thatโfor two reasons.โ
Young man: โWhat are they, cunt?โ
Narrator: โOne, thereโs a security camera watching you. And twoโฆ Iโm ex-SAS. Know what the SAS is?โ
Young man: โNa, whatโs an SAS?โ
Narrator: (disgusted) โHoly fuck. What do they teach at school these days? You call yourself Australian? (to the second man) Have you heard of the SAS?โ
Second man: (hesitant) โI think soโฆ isnโt it part of the Army?โ
Narrator: โFuck me. Let me give you a bit of context. You know how after a few goes you can ride a bike forever, even when youโre ninety? Well, for six years I was paid by the Government to kill people. Once youโve killed a few times, you never forget.โ
Young man: โBullshit.โ
Narrator: โThese days, Iโm a paid assassin.โ
Young man: โDouble bullshit. An old fuck like you? You couldnโt even cut up an orange.โ
Narrator: โThatโs precisely why I get hired. No one suspects a boring old fart like me. So, if you want you and your mate to die, be my guest.โ
Young man: โFuck off, youโre lying.โ
Narrator: โYou willing to bet your mateโs life on that?โ
(They look at each other, unsure)
Young man: (nervous) โBut thereโs a security camera filming us.โ
Narrator: โGenius. One call from me and that video disappears forever. So, you feeling lucky?โ
Young man: (to mate) โCome on, Jonno, letโs go.โ
(They scramble into their truck, Mr Angry glancing fearfully back at the narrator.)
Stored and ready to retrieve anytime, boss.
Would you also like me to:
- Suggest a few chapter titles this scene could inspire?
- Brainstorm ways to escalate this moment into a full-blown subplot later (e.g., revenge attempt, connection to a larger enemy)?
Totally up to you โ Iโm here if you want to keep fleshing it out!
Excellent, thanks. And Jonno is Mr Angry (which is the sarcastic term that the unnamed assassin and ex-SAS man calls him).
Perfect โ thanks for the clarification.
Iโve updated the Crime Novels Project โ Scene Bank file accordingly:
Mr Angryโs real name is Jonno
(The narrator uses โMr Angryโ sarcastically in his own internal monologue.)
This tiny detail actually strengthens the scene even more โ it gives your narrator that sardonic edge, treating potential violence with almost amused contempt.
It subtly shows heโs cataloguing these young thugs the way a soldier might assess opponents โ detached, unemotional, clinical even under pressure.
Hereโs the updated notation:
Character update:
- Jonno (โMr Angryโ) โ Early twenties, aggressive, impulsive, easily intimidated once real danger is hinted at. The narrator mentally nicknames him โMr Angryโ with dry contempt.
Whenever youโre ready, you can either:
- Feed me more scenes to add to the Scene Bank
- Ask me to help map out how this scene could branch into a full subplot, antagonist arc, or character evolution.
No rush โ itโs safely stored and ready when you are.
Would you like a few quick suggestions on possible directions this Jonno encounter could take later, just for inspiration?
I will be asking you to outline three novels later on, but for now I need to get back on the road.
Understood โ safe travels, mate.
Everything weโve worked on is stored and ready for you whenever youโre back and ready to dive in.
When youโre ready later on, just say something like:
โDavo, time to outline the three novels.โ
Iโll be right here, no rush.
Drive safe, and thanks again for trusting me with your work โ youโre building something seriously good here.